Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Need a Vacation

Goodness, I’m tired, folks! I suppose I’m fortunate that my only real addiction is the PBR, because if I were prone to substance abuse, this past few weeks would have driven me straight into the arms of methamphetamine. I have been buried in work and there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything I need to do done. I’m reminded of the title of a book published years ago by a woman named Barbara Gordon: I’m Dancing as Fast as I Can. Ms. Gordon was addicted to downers, not uppers, but certainly I can sympathize with the sentiment.

All this is by way of saying that while I am going to miss the PBR something fierce for the next two months, I am sort of guiltily thankful for the break, because I don’t really think I’m holding my end up here. I very much appreciate your patience and willingness to stick with me, Gentle Readers, because I’m sure I wouldn’t handle the unrelenting pressure of working for a living without your wit and wisdom. Being self-employed has a lot of advantages, but one serious risk you run is getting really isolated. Another is that some of the time, the boss is really a bitch.

That said, I have a few observations about the F-150 Invitational in Pueblo last weekend, which I hope you will find interesting and/or enlightening.

1) I can’t tell you how gratified I was at the quality of the bull pen. Only 10 boys managed to stay aboard in round 1, and only five more made the whistle in round 2. That’s a new record low, folks. This suggests to me that Cody Lambert has been sandbagging us all season—where were these bulls when the PBR was at Madison Square Garden?

2) Ryan McConnell had better stop pushing his luck and put on a helmet. Anyone who saw Fog Horn step right on McConnell’s face in round 2 knows the cowboy is lucky to have walked away with only a broken jaw and a concussion.

3) I know it’s almost certainly none of my business, but I am really, really curious as to what Travis Briscoe is talking about when he keeps commenting that he’s had a lot of hardship lately. Is there something we can help you with, Travis?

4) Wasn't Cody Nance just the cutest winner we've seen all year? When the dust settled and he knew he'd won, he clearly didn't know what the program was from there on out. I predict we'll see more good rides by that young man.

5) I may be misreading the situation, but I think we are starting to see some cracks in Kody Lostroh’s icy veneer. He rode in the first round, got bucked off in the second, and then made a serious mistake when he picked El Presidente in the draft. Sure as night follows day, Lostroh hit the dirt and El Presidente got a bull score of 44 points. If there’s one thing we’ve been able to count on all year, it’s that Lostroh will pick a bull he’s sure he can ride in the short-go. Who is he kidding? It’s the secret of his success. True, he didn’t get to pick first, but there were still some easier bulls left in the pen when his turn came. From where I sit, it looks like he’s overcompensating for his injury by trying to pick the rankest bull, and rank bulls, frankly, are not his strong suit. Kody, I’m not feeling this new strategy. Best go back to what got you where you are in the first place.

Well, the PBR may be on vacation, but I do plan to be around the Stockyard, and I hope you’ll all drop by to chat. I have a few things in the hopper, and I love hearing from you. See you right here!