Monday, November 3, 2008

How the PBR Saved My Life

Gather round, children, for I need to testify. I am weary with well (and not so well) doing. This fall has been one of the most difficult of my life, what with a sudden windfall of work that started in early September, issues with family and friends too far away for me to lend much more than moral support, ailing pets, and this damned presidential election. Folks, I am worried and flurried and sometimes almost paralyzed, checking the polls and the news and declaring that I’m THROUGH watching any political coverage, only to be lured back almost immediately for another fix. This is what addiction feels like, and I don’t like it one bit, but I seem to be helpless to do anything about it, which is the other part about addiction, of course. Only two things are going to pull me through, the first being that come Wednesday morning, one of those guys will be our guy and it will be time for all of us to set aside what divides us and come together to support him and one another. And come Thursday night, the PBR Finals will be back on Versus.

I truthfully cannot express what a relief it was to think about nothing for three days running besides riders and bulls. Thursday night, which was without a doubt the most boring PBR performance I’ve seen since the big Tulsa debacle, I quite literally watched with tears of gratitude running down my face, so great was my relief at being able to forget all this other crap and only pay attention to what was going on in Vegas. Which wasn’t much, let’s be truthful. If ever a bunch of bulls were worthy of the name “Pussy Pen,” the crew that bucked (using the word kindly) on Thursday night was it. I cannot for the life of me figure out why the PBR always runs in the easy bulls on the first night of the finals, unless they are looking to drag some unknowing passersby in off the streets of Vegas and charm them with the spectacle of a bunch of guys twirling around atop bulls that should by now be on their way to Burger King. But you know what? I didn’t care! I didn’t give a damn that it was boring, all that mattered was that it was bull riding.

And then came Friday, when the rank pen showed up and cowboys went flying hither and yon. Only 14 managed to stick for eight seconds, which is just about right, in my book. Weren’t the bulls wonderful? Bones and Major Payne and Chicken on a Chain and all the rest? I could watch Bones throw Justin McBride into the dirt every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. So what if J.B. Mauney managed to ride Troubadour? I don’t care what anybody says, that bull had a bad night, for which J.B. should be thanking his lucky stars.

The other good news this weekend is that even though J.B. won two rounds and now leads the event, our man Guilherme also rode all three bulls and trails J.B. by a mere three points. Three points! Don’t go getting a big head yet, J.B., ’cause it ain’t over till it’s over. If Marchi were to win both the title and the finals, I’ll think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Adriano also is looking good, though Smash Hit just flat beat him on Sunday afternoon. He’s riding with concentration and confidence, and I’d love it if he won the finals. That’s one notch on his belt that he doesn’t have yet, and I know I’ll be crying my eyes out when it comes to pass.

So I’m feeling a lot better now, thanks to the PBR finals. They came at just the right minute to save my sanity, for sure, and quite possibly my marriage, since I think if Montana Barn Cat hears me screaming my political point of view at the television just one more time, the next stop might be divorce court. I only have to make it through two more days, and the election will be a done deal, and when Thursday rolls around, I will be well and truly ready to kick back and watch the bulls buck.

Just one plea about the election: Please, folks, if you haven’t already done so, get yourselves to the polls tomorrow and vote. Don’t ever forget that people have died to secure you that right and privilege. I’ll see you here Friday morning, when I plan to post the first of four posts in four days about the finals. Come on back and see me, hear?


shannon said...

Oh, can I ever identify with you on the political stuff. I have been sad for a few weeks now and I keep saying "I have to turn it off". Yet, here I am at the computer with CNN on as background noise.

"Just one plea about the election: Please, folks, if you haven’t already done so, get yourselves to the polls tomorrow and vote."

If you haven't seen this video, you might like it. I think it's great!

"Weren’t the bulls wonderful? Bones and Major Payne and Chicken on a Chain and all the rest?"

I saw the list for Saturday night and did a little happy dance complete with a squeal. My family stared blankly at me like I was nuts. But, God bless them, they put up with it.

I thought it was a great three rounds and I'm excited at where Guilherme is in the standings right now. JB won't concern me unless he keeps riding and Guilherme starts to stumble.

I can't wait for Thursday and with the election being tomorrow and my addiction to the coverage, among our usual weekly routines, it should be a fairly quick week.

Jean said...

I like that video! Thanks Shannon!

Here's another one a friend just sent to me. Heard of Superman? Here's Super Barack

I rarely watch TV news anyway, so it's been really easy to not watch. Now, if I can slap my hand away from even glancing through online newspaper headlines I will be okay.

A friend is coming over tomorrow and we're going to go rock hunting and treasure hunting. We're going to play with short horses, sweep my patio (it's freakin' huge), eat a lot and drink a lot (for us) and stay away from the computer, TV and radio. Our ballots are cast so there's nothing more we can do except worry. Thus, we're going to keep ourselves busy.

I have to go get more booze. I just found out that Arizona doesn't sell liquor on election day. (You can't buy alcohol here on Sundays before noon either.)

I actually fell asleep during the first round!!! Can you believe that??! I couldn't. It was indeed that dull.

I had to do a double take when I looked at the finals standings thus far. To hear the announcers talk, JB and Lohstroh are the only ones in the running. When I saw Marchi was in 2nd I was actually amazed.

Are there 4,000 points available in the last 4 days of the finals, that JB or Lohstroh could still steal the championship?

Stockyard Queen said...

McKee said last night before the event started that there were 5,800 points still up for grabs, but for anybody to beat Marchi, he has to fall off EVERYTHING and his competition has to ride EVERYTHING, which I don't see happening. God, I hope not. That might kill me dead if it did happen.

Your election day plans sound like fun. I think we are going down to a return-watching event late tomorrow evening. I'd like to know who else in this town thinks like I do.

Jaye said...

I'll be so glad when the election is over and the commercials end and the recorded phone calls end. It has been very stressful on me since I'm the only Democrat in a 50-mile radius so it seems. Even though I keep my mouth shut around my family, most of my friends and co-workers, I still get knocked around. I feel battered and bruised. If Obama wins tomorrow, I half think my family will take to the hills.

I'm so glad Marchi is doing well, and I hope he continues it to the very end. He seems confident and cool in the face of all the pressure. Can't wait for Friday night when the rank pen appears again. I could watch those bulls all day long.

Stockyard Queen said...

Jaye, I feel your pain. I am told that my dyed-in-the-wool Republican father is nearly beside himself at the idea that the Democrats might be elected this round. It gives me a fiendish pleasure to think about his discomfort. I'm such a bad daughter!

Black Boots said...

WOW. I am not alone! I too am the only Obama supporter in a sea of GOP. It's been a frustrating election year and I'm glad it's finally coming to a close--except for the tight and virulent Senate race here in GA, which seems headed for a runoff with no end in sight of negative commercials. Bleah.

Happily I have already voted--two hours in line last Thursday. The early voting here has been staggering, and I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow.

Jean, your day sounds wonderful. I have to be at work tomorrow at 7 am for a company meeting. Have a drink for me!

As far as the Finals, it was great to watch the rank pen, Guilherme's rides and Princess McBride meet the dirt. Let's hope the mojo continues for Guilherme and he can wrap this thing up Thursday or Friday. How fun would it be to watch him ride just for the sheer joy of it, no pressure, no worries, that big smile and WHOOP! of his booming. Pretty to contemplate.

Jay said...


1. Wear a white shirt, a red tie, a navy-blue blazer, and a Richard Nixon mask. (Ladies, you can do this, too!)
2. Carry an Obama and a McCain hand-puppet into the booth. After you complete your ballot, put your puppeted hands out from behind the curtain and do a “Punch & Judy” show. (McCain puppet: “My friends, he’s a Muslim Socialist Baby-Killer who hangs out with Terrorists! Worse than that, he’s eloquent!” Obama hand puppet: “Drill baby drill! Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran! ‘The fundamentals of our economy are strong.’”)
3. Walk backwards from the booth and past the ballot box to deposit your ballot AND to your car, raising two fingers from one or both hands in the universal “Peace”/”Victory” sign.

[These humble ideas are dedicated to the courage of the ladies of “Turn Him Out!”]

Jean said...

LOL!! Would be fun if it wasn't against the law to wear or carry candidate kitsch or discuss the candidates within 100 feet of the poll.

shannon said...

lol! Thanks for the laugh, jay. I love those ideas.

I'm lucky, I live in California and my neighborhood is very pro-Obama. My parents are in line with me. Unfortunately, it's not the same with my brother and the rest of the family, so we simply don't talk about it.

Voting took me all of 5 minutes today, but then again, here in a city this size, we have a polling place every few blocks. I passed three on the way to find my place alone.

One event almost down, 2 more days for the next one. I can't wait to see another rank pen and who chose what bull.

Stockyard Queen said...

The polls this morning (for what they're worth) have McCain leading Obama by one point here in MT, which is within the margin of error. We voted at the crack of dawn and waited nearly 45 minutes to do so, which has never happened before. I just hope my dad can hang in there long enough to see (even if he won't admit) that we'll be better off under President Obama.