Friday, August 28, 2009

MacKenzie Speaks: JDub Must Go!

Hi, folks! Long time no type at you! And I don’t have much time now—-I have to get this done before my mom finds out I’m on the computer. She’s downstairs chasing Carter the Great, my new baby brother, and she totally doesn’t know I bribed him to run outside and bark his head off, so I could get a minute on the machine. That little doggie has a great future ahead of him.

Of course, this means I’ll have to come through with my bribe, and I’m not sure I remember where I buried that last rawhide chew, except that it was somewhere in one of the front flowerbeds last fall, before it ever snowed. Might take me a while to find that.

First, I guess I better let you know that my mom is fine, just really, really busy. She’s so busy she didn’t even really walk me in the mornings this summer, and you know how she gets when she doesn’t get regular exercise. She got a new job back in May and I guess I should be thankful because it’s probably why she’s been buying all those smoked pig ears for us lately, but boy! She hardly ever gets up from in front of the computer anymore at all.

And since there’s barely been any bull riding lately, she really doesn’t have much reason to, does she? And since it’s hardly ever broadcast within about a million years of when it happened, she’s starting to wonder why she even bothers to comment on it. It’s all old news before she gets to see the action.

But she finally managed to finish off a huge job that, and I am not making this up, took five years! Five years! That’s longer than I’ve been alive! She was showing it to my dad the other night, and he said it was beautiful. I’ll have to take his word for it, since I can’t read and I don’t understand why anybody’d want to look at pictures of horses when they can go find some real ones to bark at, but she does seem a lot happier now that it’s over.

But the reason I’ve commandeered the computer is because I want you all to join me in protesting J.W. Hart’s existence. I mean, my mom would never say this, because she’s a human and all, but the man clearly is prejudiced against dogs! Seriously! Just think about all the anti-dog stuff he said in Nashville!

First, he remarked that Justin McBride was “shaking like a dog that had eaten a bunch of thumbtacks and needed to go to the bathroom” before he went onstage at the Grand Ol’ Opry. Now, my folks are big-time country music fans, and they weren’t at all impressed with McBride’s singing, guitar playing, or song-writing ability, but they would never say anything like that under any circumstances! I guess that might just prove they love dogs, because they did have some snarky things to say about Mr. McBride’s performance, but you get my drift.

My mom did say that we were lucky JDub managed to edit himself enough not to use the true version of that expression, which has something to do with peach pits. She put her hands over my ears when she said it, but I did catch that much.

And then, JDub started making fun of McKinnon Wimberly, just because the man was glad his dog came home! And he actually said HIS dog left and wasn’t coming back! That really hit my mom hard-—I don’t think she’s told you all that we lost Belle Doggie and Mattie both last winter. She still cries when she thinks about them. Sometimes I do too. I miss them terribly.

It’s a good thing for all concerned that she and my dad adopted Carter, because he’s really livened up the place, and now I don’t have to pester Tiny G to play, which she hardly ever did, anyway, and then my mom would get really mad at me for barking in Tiny’s face and getting her all riled up. I thought it was all in good fun, but when I saw mom grab the squirt bottle, I figured out I was wrong.

So on behalf of all dogs, everywhere, I demand that those who love us rise up and strike back! Of course, my mom is mad at JDub for a whole lot of other stuff that she probably thinks is more important, but I beg to differ with her on that.

Whoops, gotta go. Just have to tell you, though, that all us four-legged creatures in this household are praying for the day the World Cup is televised. Maybe then things will lighten up around here. I have to tell you, though, if I weren’t such a red-blooded American doggie, I’d have to root for somebody besides JDub. Nobody likes a dog hater.

1 comment:

shannon said...

MacKenzie, I love your articles. I think you should sit down with your mom one day and just ask for computer time.

Now, in regards to dogs: I think J-Dub and McBride would be interested to know that Mr. Wimberly had plenty of fans who were very worried about his dog and were hoping he'd find him, so we were glad to hear the report.

Tell your mom congratulations on finishing the job! That's great! Also, tell her, please, that we wouldn't care how old the most recent PBR event is--we still love her blogs and would wait as long as she needed us to in order to read them. Your mom is very funny and insightful.

Ok, I need to run. It's early here, but my dog, Gracie (who I'm sure would love to be in your area of the country) and my kids need me for a few things.

Enjoy your day and thanks for writing.