Monday, May 12, 2008

Come Zonk with Me, Let’s Zonk, Let’s Zonk Away

I was away the weekend of the Des Moines Classic, called to the steamy and stormy state of Missouri to the bedside of an ailing relative, who fortunately has improved greatly in the past week. So I missed all the coverage, being preoccupied with cooking and cleaning and toting folks to the hospital in my rented roller skate, as well as completely cut off from the higher numbers on the local cable network. I flew back at the crack of dawn on Friday, narrowly avoiding being blown completely away by multiple tornadoes that came roaring up I-44 from Oklahoma. I lived in the South and Midwest from the day I was born until I escaped to Wyoming in 1991, and I still have good friends and relatives out there, but as far as I’m concerned, the Midwest has the worst weather in the world. Hot and humid in the summer, cold and damp in the winter, with the added excitement of tornadoes that charge through the neighborhoods, mostly in the middle of the night. You folks are better men than I am—I’ll never live there again, unless Barn Cat gets a job offer that includes a chauffeured limousine and an air-conditioned bubble to get me from the house to the car. That might reconcile me to breathing through a wet washcloth for the foreseeable future. Then again, probably not.

By the time I landed back in God's Country, I was in serious PBR deprivation, so as soon as I could fire up the computer, I e-mailed the inimitable AZPonyDriver for an update, which she delivered with absolutely hilarious aplomb. I then checked my DVR and was overjoyed to see I’d managed to record the Saturday night session in Des Moines. I watched it while swilling down massive amounts of coffee, made the right way, black and strong.

But I was pretty disheartened later when I clicked on the PBR website and was greeted by a continuous loop of three horrific wrecks—in Chicago, Chris Shivers getting his face smashed into the chute, and in Des Moines, Austin Meier being knocked out cold and poor Kasey Hayes falling right on his head and breaking his neck. Even though I'd seen the latter already, it was absolutely gut-churning to see it played over and over. It’s incredible that he managed to walk out of the arena on his own power. I always root for the bulls, but nobody wants to see a competitor come within a hair of being wheelchair-bound for the next 40 years.

Still, it appears to have been a good weekend. By dent of having stuck to three bulls while everybody else fell off, our dear friend Guilherme won the event and has pulled farther ahead in the overall standings. One suggestion, though—Page 499 deserves a better name. Surely you boys aren’t running out of imagination yet. And the folks over on the TWOP forum board have a lot to say about the points fairy, who appears to be miraculously changing scores after they’ve already been posted. I plan to look into this phenomenon when I get the chance.

That said, we have weathered a weekend without the PBR and are looking forward to San Antonio, when we plan to park ourselves in the club chair and torment the neighborhood with our shrieks and profanities. Now, that’s the good life and no mistake. In the meantime, I have decided to give all the kind folks who have been moseying over here a place to express themselves more immediately on this site, so I am adding a Zonkboard where you can comment to your heart’s content. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you to be polite and respectful of others’ opinions. Enjoy!


Barn Cat said...

I think that Page 499's name will be changed when they decide whether he goes on the PBR tour or to Burger King.

shannon said...

Oh, don't get me started on bull naming. I sent in 80 names to that Versus "Name the Bull" contest last year, making sure (by checking the PBR list) every single time that my entry was completely original and what do they chose? A good name, yes, but one that was already given to two other bulls! *sigh*

I don't get the point system (or reride options) and I've given up even trying. Makes for a less stressful viewing experience.

Kasey's mom got an early Mother's Day present, I'm sure, when she witnessed her son walking and talking after that horrific accident. If you ever needed proof that miracles do still happen....Anyway, my maternal instinct has set in big time this past week and a half and I've even been contemplating sending him a get well card. However, I feel like I'm too old for that sort of thing---am I? Eh...I'll think about it.

Glad to hear your relative's health has improved. It's nice that you were able to help and I'm sure your presence there was appreciated.

Now, bring on Albuquerque!

Stockyard Queen said...

Goodness, Shannon, 80 names!?!?!? You was robbed! I'm sure Kasey would love getting a card from you. Us older folks should stand up and be counted in the PBR ranks, especially us older ladies.

shannon said...

Goodness, Shannon, 80 names!?!?!? You was robbed!

I thought so, too :) Some of them weren't really good, but I think most of them were great. Oh well. I was more frustrated by the fact that they went with a name that had already been taken twice!

I'm going to look for a card for Kasey. I'm not that much older than him and he'll never know anyway, right? If I can find something funny, I'll pick it up.

So, I'm assuming I'm not the only one going through a bit of withdrawl here?

Stockyard Queen said...

Yes, we are chomping at the bit here for the weekend. And it will all be over so soon!

shannon said...

At least it's not off for too long before it starts up again.

Ok, so I bought Kasey a card today. I hope he appreciates the humor. The front had a cartoon picture of a cat holding an umbrella. It said:

"Someone smart once said, 'if you stare through the rain long enough, you see a rainbow'"

The inside said:

"Someone smarter said, 'if you're getting wet, get the hell out of the rain!' Hang in there."

I told him that I'm sure it sucks to be out of the game for so long, but I hoped he could find enough things to lift his spirits. Then I said that with any luck he'll heal quickly and that we'll be seeing his great smile and attitude back on tv soon.

I hope he gets it--I had to send it through PBR headquarters.

2 days and counting!