Monday, September 8, 2008

Woe is Us

So once again, gentle readers, we were set, perched on the edge of our enormous couch with the remote pointed at the tv set Sunday afternoon, ready to see the last installment of the PBR Team Shootout before the event final in Pueblo, Colorado. And what did we get from ESPN2? NASCAR!

NASCAR? I wouldn’t watch NASCAR if my life depended on it. I swear that’s the truth. To make matters worse, I just that day got hooked, and I mean like you can on crack, on “House,” of which show the USA Network was running a two-day marathon of back-to-back episodes, and only my devotion to the sport of bull riding managed to tear me away. That, and the fact that after watching 12 hours of a show devoted to a cranky (Vicodin-addicted) doctor, diseases you can only catch if you’ve flown to China and Bali and South Africa in a three-day period, and patients being snatched back from the very jaws of truly horrible deaths, I was ready for a little mayhem not brought on by chance encounters with anthrax-infected house insulation. Some bulls stomping and slinging snot were just what the doctor ordered.

And what did I get for my trouble? The sight of a bunch of jerks in fire suits, careening around a race track at a million miles an hour, emitting 300 decibel shrieks on the turns and burning fuel like they all worked for the Saudis. No matter what Ty Murray says, I can’t get interested in NASCAR and I am starting to resent it when the PBR types compare bull riding to that alleged sport.

I kept clicking back and forth between “House” and ESPN2, hoping against hope that I would finally get the Guthrie event, but no dice. My correspondent Shannon, who was planning to watch it with her dad and who experienced the same sorry disappointment, reported that her father said there was a rain delay at the NASCAR event. So the bulls and the boys got bumped, and the unwashed majority who prefer their sports loud and dumb prevailed over those of us who just prefer them loud and unpredictable.

This morning, I searched the PBR website in hope of finding an explanation, to no avail. Mind you, that doesn’t mean there isn’t one posted—it just means that if there is, I can’t find it, and it’s not the first time. So I am hoping that Mr. Randy Bernard is raising some serious hell with those ESPN dudes, because I don’t think I can stand this kind of suspense again. It makes wondering how that poor woman got rabies and why a 16-year-old kid is bleeding from every orifice for no discernible reason start to look like entertainment.


shannon said...

"I am starting to resent it when the PBR types compare bull riding to that alleged sport."

I don't think I've heard the comparison, nor do I even see one. I was, however, in the beginning, a bit surprised that there wasn't more of a cross over of fans. Then, I tried watching NASCAR and I just didn't get it (my parents, though, love both). The only thing remotely interesting to me were the pit stops.

If I didn't already know that I was addicted to the PBR, then I found out this weekend as I was making dinner. It had been a rough day and, as I was grinding my teeth, all I could think was "A few more hours and I can watch the Shootout--then everything will be fine". Is that sad or what? I can say, however, that I didn't flip out (I just wondered out loud) when I saw that it wasn't on. Of course, my dad and my husband--both very calm, patient men, God bless 'em-- were here and wouldn't have understood a tirade. Had I been alone, I'm sure they'd have heard me at the end of the block.

I'm so ready for the season to pick back up again.

Jean said...

William and I watched NASCAR for about 15 minutes once. Only because it preceded coverage of a real race, the Dakar. In that 15 minutes, the race was started over no less than twice because someone had a flat or someone had to go to the pit for some reason. The Dakar coverage was shrunk down to about 30 minutes because of the NASCAR "race" that kept going into something like quadrillion overtime. If there are so many danged cars in a race that you have to keep starting over to give everyone a fair shake at the lead, then stop letting so many danged cars enter the race. It was like watching downtown traffic at rush hour. Wall to wall cars for 12 city blocks. Yeah, just add a couple of redneck, alcoholic painters with too much testosterone and attitude and the sports powers that be will make watching paint dry a "sport".

I'd rather watch skinny butts pedaling bicycles than watch a bunch of loons play poker. I'd seriously rather watch paint dry than watching a bunch of guys play poker, because at least I'd get pretty walls out of that hour. POKER IS NOT A SPORT. jeeeez. I'll watch reruns of The Odd Couple, at least Oscar and the boys were entertaining while playing poker.

SQ, William loves those "when doctors attack" shows at night. I wake up wondering why I'm having such awful nightmares and find that Dr. G's autopsies or some family's tragedy have invaded my subconscious. I have to go to sleep with my iPod plugged into my ears, so that my brain goes to Hogwarts instead. It's painful to sleep with earbuds, but worth it.

What's "House"?

Jaye said...

Granted NASCAR has a bigger fan base, but there was no reason to bump the Guthrie Shootout. And if they had to do it for some stupid reason, they should have televised it at a different time. To me, there is nothing more boring than watching a bunch of cars go round and round on a race track. And although I know you don't watch the PRCA, ESPN chose to show bowling instead of Xtreme Bulls that was scheduled. There's no explanation on their web site either, and it won't be shown again until November. Totally disappointing. Like you, however, I did wind up watching multiple episodes of House.