Monday, January 5, 2009

The Bull Diaries

The Stockyard Queen has yet to recover--she's lying on her fainting couch, fanning herself, and trying to appraise when she'll manage to hoist herself up and type a few lines about the PBR in Baltimore. In the meantime, however, she is pleased to offer up SoCal Jay's assessment, provided for your reading entertainment. Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for the next installment of The Bull Diaries.

Episode 7: “What’s with the lime-green chaps?”

The Montana Barn Cat was kind enough to call us, the night before. “PBR on NBC tomorrow, Bubba. Be there or be known forevermore as a gosh-darned ‘rounder’ around here.” That’s a fate worse than a slow, painful death, to me, so we set a kitchen timer to get us to the couch on time.

“So these are the good bulls, right?” (She’s SO adorable.)

“Uh,” I replied, “yeah. But a better term would be ‘rank.’ It’s a bull-riding thing.”

“Rank?”

“That’s right. I’m not sure exactly of the derivation, but you know how stinky, dirty laundry in our laundry basket is a bad thing?” She nodded that she did. “Well, think of these bulls as the sweat socks in the bottom of a boy’s P.E. locker, in high school. The socks have been used again and again for a month, but they haven’t been washed, right? That’s RANK laundry. Not only bad, but NASTY, eh? Well, these bulls are that bad and that nasty. They’re that kind of rank.”

It was fantastic. We hooped and we hollered and I loved the close-up views of the bulls in the pen as the cowboy got on, their eyes either glaring with anger and anticipation or almost bored with confidence. We loved the replays. (Pam: “Geez! He bucked him right into the wall!” Me: “Yeah, they’ll do that. Did you catch the stream of bull snot and slobber? Good Gawd almighty.”) It was certainly the best bull riding stuff we’ve seen on our TV, for sure. It was a fun, exciting treat.

Somewhere in there, however, Pam asked, “What’s with the lime-green chaps? Aren’t they, like, traditionally brown?” I’d noticed the same, sparkly kind of thing with other riders.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Probably just guys trying to make a flash, I guess.”

And then she said, “And when did FRINGE start with chaps, anyway? Chaps were just to stop prickly brush from hurting cowboy’s legs, right? When did the fringe thing start?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “But I know someone who does.”

6 comments:

Montana Barn Cat said...

Indeed you do sir.
Chaps is actually a shortened version of the Spanish word chaparreras. Spanish colonial and Mexican cowboys wore chaparreras to protect themselves from getting scratched up while riding through chaparral--those stickers and brush that Pam was talking about. Yes, these are made of plain slick leather if you are a working cowboy. There are generally 2 types of chaps: shotgun (or stovepipe) and batwings. Shotgun chaps cover the whole leg like a leather overpant. Batwings fasten around the thighs and usually flare out considerably near the bottom. Why lime green? Well, these are "show" chaps where the cowboy is trying to catch the audience's eye with his flashy outfit. Also, Enterprise Rent-a-Car furnishes the cowboys it sponsors with chaps that have the company logo on the bottom section. Their logo is a white E on a bright green background. My good buddy Robson Palermo (from the jungles of Brazil) used to wear beautiful chaps of brindle-colored fur-on cowhide. But I see that he switched to day-glo yellow chaps with his sponsor's (Cowboy Coffee Co.)logo on the left leg. Those sponsors are important.
Fringe has always been a decoration for leather clothing. Working cowboys don't usually use it because it gets caught on branches and spurs, etc. Again, the long fringe on PBR chaps is just for show.

shannon said...

"Fringe has always been a decoration for leather clothing.

Remember in the 80s, those suede/leather jackets with the fringe that went all along the arm? I couldn't afford them, but oh, how I coveted them. :)

Thanks for the education! I knew the colorful chaps were for show, but wasn't sure if the fringe was or not.

I loved Robson's old chaps (Paulo had some, too, remember?). Now, I get a kick out of the length of JB's fringe and the color of Rocky McDonald's. Some of the non-sponsored choices surprise and amuse me.

Black Boots said...

Are you talking about the cowhide chaps, Shannon? I love those, too.
And I'd still like to have a fringed suede jacket. Ah, the seventies...

At least for me, the bright colors add to the energy of the atmosphere. Although I do have a question for our expert--isn't yellow a bad-luck color in the rodeo/bull riding world? I noticed a couple of riders wearing yellow shirts this weekend.

Viva Bulls! So happy that they're back.

Black Boots said...

Are you talking about the cowhide chaps, Shannon? I love those, too.
And I'd still like to have a fringed suede jacket. Ah, the seventies...

At least for me, the bright colors add to the energy of the atmosphere. Although I do have a question for our expert--isn't yellow a bad-luck color in the rodeo/bull riding world? I noticed a couple of riders wearing yellow shirts this weekend.

Viva Bulls! So happy that they're back.

Stockyard Queen said...

Black Boots, I will have to defer to Montana Barn Cat about the color question. Maybe it will force him to come out from under his rock and actually contribute to the blog!

Jay said...

Perhaps only M.B.C. would know for sure about the superstitions of P.B.R. riders, but in my humble opinion the only "bad luck" color is BLACK, when it comes to human history fears and such stuff. Yellow, to me anyway, is the color of the sun, and the color of little rubber duckies that float charmingly in my bathtub.